Thursday, December 22, 2011

Holiday Eating Tips...

 Avoid carrot sticks...
Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. 
In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.
Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.  



 Drink as much eggnog as you can... 
And quickly. It's rare...you cannot find it any other time of year but now. 
So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? 
It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. 
It's a treat. 
Enjoy it. 
Have one for me. Have two. 


 If something comes with gravy, use it... 
That's the whole point of gravy. 
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. 
Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. 
Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. 
Repeat. 

 Do not have a snack before going to a party 
in an effort to control your eating... 
The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. 
Lots of it. 
Hello? 

 Under no circumstances should you exercise 
between now and New Year's...

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. 
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while 
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 

Cookies... 




If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted 
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. 
Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. 
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. 
If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 

 Same for pies... 

Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. 
Have a slice of each. 
Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. 
Always have three. 
When else do you get to have more than one dessert? 
Labor Day? 

 Did someone mention fruitcake?

(Sorry Blondee

Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, 
but avoid it at all cost. 
I mean, have some standards. 

 One final tip: 
If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, 
you haven't been paying attention!

Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. 

Remember this motto to live by: 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of 
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, 
but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, 
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" 


Last but not least, the following is the proper way 
to weigh yourself during this time of year...Enjoy!


13 comments:

  1. LOL.... Lois, that is so funny. I wish I could indulge like that.

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  2. Ha! Ha! Now THIS is great advice!

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  3. HAHA....Now that was quite funny! Have a GOOD day!

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  4. Those were some good tips. I think that I follow alot of them.
    Thanks for the laugh today
    Merry Christmas to you and yours.

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  5. You are my kinda Gal! Lois!! I will do exactly as you say.
    Wishing you and your dear family a most blessed and joyous Christmas.
    Love,
    Sue

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  6. Hee! Hee! I love your advice! Especially waiting til January to exercise! :)

    Merry Christmas!

    Tammy

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  7. Thanks for the fabulous tips. I do believe I can follow 'em easily. :o)

    I'll just carry a bit more firewood in and chase a few more wild~eyed cattle. Heeehehehe!

    God bless ya and have yourself a beautifully bright Christmas surrounded by the ones you hold near and dear!

    MERRY CHRISTMAS YA'LL!!! :o)

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  8. Hope you don't mind.... I had to share this to Facebook! (Let me know if you'd like it taken off my page.)

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  9. Hi Lois,
    That is too funny! and that is definitely how I am gonna weight for awhile, or maybe just not at all. lol

    I love eggnog, but I like to mix it half and half with fatfree half an half! Did that make sense.....oh well, it is delicious, and I do try to drink a lot since we only can have it once a year. That is the first thing I have to get before I can start my Christmas decorating, then put on my Christmas CD's and I am READY! lol

    Hope you are having a wonderful time with Olivia and the family.

    Merry Merry christmas hon,
    Love and Blessings, Nellie

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  10. Love it! I love eggnog and by the time the holidays are over, I've had enough to last me until the next year. :)

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  11. I agree completely! Avoid fruitcake! It's the confection that is amazing!!!!

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  12. You just made my day! Definitely resume the exercise after new years day.

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