A Sad Day...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Today is the anniversary of my father’s death.  A week after moving into their new house, my father got up off the couch to go to the bathroom.  Instead of opening the bathroom door, he opened the door to the basement and went flying down the stairs.   He lived for three weeks.  


How can I properly explain how I feel today?   A year ago today I was home; I had so much to take care of.  I was with my father the day before; visiting with him in the rehab center that he was recently moved to.  My sister called me around noon to tell me my father was not doing well.  She kept me informed throughout the afternoon and then around 3:00 she said,

 “You better come.”  


I dropped my kids off at their music lessons.  My friend was going to pick them up and take them along with her kids to karate.  The Colonel would be home by the time karate was over.  


When I arrived in NJ, my father was already in the emergency room of the local hospital. He was sleeping.  The doctors were running tests.  My father woke up briefly and we talked.  The doctors said they were admitting him because the pneumonia he developed due to all his ribs being broken on his left side was still present and causing problems.


My mother, sister and I went to the cafeteria to have a quick dinner while my father’s room was being prepared.  We all went back to the emergency room and I stayed for awhile but it was getting late and my father was sleeping again.  I took advantage of him waking up briefly to say good bye.  

I looked my father in his eyes and told him I loved him and that I would see him tomorrow.  

My father looked right at me, 

he knew me, he said, “I love you too.”


I left the hospital to make the hour drive home to Pennsylvania.  I was in the house for maybe 5 minutes and my sister called and told me, “Daddy died.”  I didn’t believe her.  He was fine when I left him.  He wasn’t in danger of dying.  I never would have left if I thought he was going to die.  


I can’t imagine what it was like for my sister and my mother to be there while my father was dying.  

They said he started having seizures after I left and then he was gone. 

My mother said that she and my sister “ushered Daddy into heaven.”  

They told him it was okay to go.  And then he was gone.  


Why did God take my father?  Why didn’t God allow him to recover from this fall?  Over the past year we have thought about this and we truly believe that the Lord was sparing us for hard times to come.  My father was already having problems with his memory before he fell and while he was in the hospital they diagnosed him with dementia.  


My father died knowing all of us.  He knew my mother, he knew his children, and most importantly he knew his grandchildren. We didn’t have to suffer while watching his health fail; watching his memory fail; watching him turn into a shell of a man.  

My father lived his life with dignity and the Lord saw to it that he would also die with dignity.  


I’m grateful for the life my father lived and the example he set before me.  

And the one way I can honor my father is to continue to serve the Lord as faithfully as my father did.        


I know that when I get to heaven, my father will be waiting for me.  

And he’ll take me by the hand and lead me to my Saviour just like he did when I was a little girl listening to him preach one Sunday night many years ago...



35 comments :

  1. My heart is aching with you this morning. I know that the Lord is wrapping his arms around you today, He won't leave you. My husband's father died a year ago June 8th and I'm serious dreading that day. I'm sad everyday but that day especially. Praying for you today, May the Lord our God be your Comforter.

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  2. wow! i'm a little lost for words but i have tears rolling down my face for you. i hope you get through today, as with your family. its always sad when we lose someone we love, no matter what our beliefs and understanding of the Lords work is. What a gracious ending for your Dad though? I'm sure he's smiling down on you all right now and feeling very proud :)
    Hugs from over the pond

    Debs

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  3. My prayer for you today is that all the wonderful memories of your father's life will overshadow the memory of his passing. May the Lord comfort you today as you remember your father. Blessings, Loretta

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  4. I can so relate to this post. We are approaching the one year anniversary of my fathers death in July. Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man and I know he wouldn't want you to be sad on this day or any other day. I wish I has something profound to say to you but I don't. You will be in my constant thoughts and prayers and I pray that you will find strength to get thru this day like any other. Sending warm hugs your way my friend. May you feel the happy spirit of your dad with you all day long. Give my love to your mother and sister as well.
    Much Love,
    AMY

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  5. I know this is a difficult day for you, remembering the anniversary of your dad's death...but you have so many happy memories of him, and you know that he is up in heaven waiting for you...let this comfort you today. I know it is hard, but I pray the Lord will wrap his arms around you today and give you peace.
    Karen

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  6. Although my dad's death wasn't unexpected (but the cancer diagnosis prior to his death was), today is the 26th anniv. of his funeral. The first anniv. is the hardest, but even this many years later it continues to be hard.

    Knowing what was to be down the road for your dad with the dementia, it's a blessing that both he and your family didn't have to watch his decline and frustration over it (since I'm in the midst of that with my mom).

    You have the wonderful comfort knowing that your dad is in heaven, which is a blessing in itself. And how fortunate to have known your dad such a good part of your adulthood as well (I was 19 when my dad passed).

    Like you, I know the ache of missing my dad, however had he lived beyond the young age of 62, it's likely he would have developed Alzheimer's as his parents did and I can't imagine how that might have panned out.

    I'll be thinking of and praying for you today. Are you able to spend some time today with your mom and sister?

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  7. What a touching post, I'm all teared up. Sounds like your father was a wonderful man and you were lucky to have him, and I'm sure his spirit is still around you especially on a hard day like today:)

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  8. My heart and prayers are with you today! Life is hard but God is always good. He is having the time of his life~just IMAGINE the wonderful time he is having in glory! I am so thankful when we know the Lord we can say see ya soon~not goodbye!
    I prayed for peace for you today!
    Carrie

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  9. There are no words that can comfort you. I love your post because it is such a tribute to him that you loved him, and miss him. I am sad for you. The first anniversary of my mother's death is in six days and it is going to be a hard day too.

    You are in my prayers.
    Cynthia

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  10. You honor your dad daily with this wonderful blog. God shines through you and I am blessed by your sweet love for Jesus every time I click on "Walking on Sunshine". He did a wonderful job in raising you up in the Lord.

    I am praying for you today my dear friend.

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  11. I'm praying God's comfort for you today and that you will blessed with many wonderful memories of your Father as the day goes on.

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  12. I'm feeling sad with you , Lois. Your Dad sounds like such a wonderful man--one I would have liked to have known. Oh wait! You can introduce us one day!! I take such delight in knowing that many of my friends on earth will always be with me in eternity!! Praise God!

    Funny, though, my Mom's Alzheimers was actually an answer to prayer for me. We were so close, and for years I dreaded the day she wouldn't be here any more and for years I begged God not to take her suddenly. About 1 1/2 years into her illness, God spoke to my heart and showed me that He had heard my prayers and He let us say a long goodbye. It's so precious how He knows what we each need.

    My heart grieves with you sweet friend, yet I also rejoice knowing that we will all be together one day rejoicing and praising God!!

    Climb up in your heavenly Father's lap, lay your head on His shoulder, and let Him wrap His loving arms around you and give you peace and comfort. This is also my prayer for you, dear Lois.

    Lots of love and (((hugs)))
    Becky

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  13. Just said a prayer for you and your family. What a beautiful, touching post. May God and your wonderful memories comfort you today.

    Blessings & Hugs,
    Mandy

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  14. Anniversaries like this are hard. But praise God you can look forward to a joyful reunion someday.

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  15. It is hard to see to type this because of the tears.....my heart goes out to you but what comfort it is to now one day you will see him again. Praying that you will have peacee.

    Hugs~T

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  16. I think the first anniversary is the hardest. Your words speak of sorrow and yet hope, Lois. What a testimony to your dad's faith and the kind of dad he was!

    I'm praying for you today- and your family.

    Blessings and hugs,
    Linda

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  17. Oh Lois, my prayers are with you today, I cried reading your post . What a great testimony to your dad. Know that Jesus is walking with you today and holding your hand:-)

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  18. Im so sorry.I know the pain and I don't think it gets better does it.
    The sad thing is it was a freak accident that took your dad. I know it has to be hard. I love and will pray for you.

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  19. Thinking of you and your family today... I know it's so very hard and that the pain doesn't truly go away. I pray that the Lord will comfort you today and that you will be filled with wonderful memories of your times together. He was a wonderful man!

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  20. Truly, we just never know when that moment will come. I'm so glad you were able to spend some quality last moments with your dad. I know today is a hard day and my prayers are with you. Our son's girlfriend lost her dad suddenly yesterday, no warnings, no goodbyes.. this will be tough also. God somehow gets us through, but there are moments in which we need all the help we can get! ((((hugs)))) from Missouri! -Tammy

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  21. I am back again. You were just on my mind and I wanted to tell you that prayers are being lifted for you and your family.

    Yesterday was our 8 year anniversay of Kenny's dads death. It was sudden also so I remember the first year and how heart wrenching it can be. Praying for you to be comforted and to enjoy memories today of your fathers wonderful life.

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  22. Praying for you and your family today, especially your Mom. Give her our Love. I know the Lord is with you. May you find comfort and peace in all the wonderful memeories of your Dad. He was an outstanding man of God. He has touched our family in a special way. We will never forget him. Love and hugs...Carol and family

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  23. Dearest Lois,
    Praying that the Lord would
    give you peace comfort and joy
    on this day! What a great hope we
    have in Christ and how wonderful to
    know you will rejoice in Heaven with your dear father someday.... not every one can say that!!
    Love & Hugs,
    Jen

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  24. What an absolutely beautiful post, Lois. Praying for you today especially.

    Your father was an amazing man who left an incredible legacy, not just in the lives of his own family, but also in the lives of so many in his church and beyond. His rock solid faith and commitment was a testimony and I am reaping the benefits of your father's standards in my own marriage because of his impact on my husband.

    I was blessed to know him for such a short time, but he always made me feel like it had been forever. His heartfelt smile is still etched in my memory!

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  25. God will give you comfort to get through these days if you just ask him.
    I will pray for comfort,strength and peace for you and your family.

    My heart goes out to you.
    God bless

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  26. Dearest Lois, what a sad and beautiful, but powerful story. How utterly incredible that your last words to one another were that you loved one another. Truly inspirational and a reminder to those of us who still have our parents to take the chance to do just that. Trusting and praying that you find some comfort and peace today sweet Lois - I am keeping you in my prayers tonight especially - you are a very special lady with an immense gift for love and inspiration. Fiona x x

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  27. How I wish we could sit together over coffee and share stories of your father. To cry and laugh and just remember the special times. What a treasure your father was in your life as well as many others. I am so sorry that he had to go like he did. I am so thankful for you that he knew you and said he loved you and said goodbye. I do not know if my dad is with the Lord, it will be something I will know when I arrive in heaven myself. The 25th of this month will be our one year anniversary for his death.
    My prayers and hugs are being sent out to you right now, as the Lord comforts you and carries you through your day.
    Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne

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  28. Bless your heart. I will say a lil prayer for you....

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  29. My heart goes out to you. I can personally relate to losing a father.
    Yours sounds like a wonderful man. What great memories you must have of him.

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  30. I need a big Hankie after reading your post. I know that your Dad is with you every day just sitting on your shoulder and guiding you. I am sending you Big Hugs for easier days. He would be proud to read your post.
    j0yce

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  31. When my nephew died at the age of 35 suddenly I struggled with answers too. A priest told me that God picks the day we will die before we are ever born. He said you know we come to church every Sunday and say The Lord's Prayer but how many of us really listen and understand the words. It says Thy will be done. Not our will but God's. Some day we will understand. My father died three weeks before my mother. We buried my mother on Christmas Eve. I was with my mother until 5 o'clock in the morning the day she died. I was told they were keeping her for observation so I made the decision to go to work. I punched in and recieved the call to go back to the other hospital. She died while I was in route so I can kind of understand how you are feeling. I will pray for you and your family. My heart goes out to all of you at this difficult time.

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  32. I'm sorry that your heart is heavy today and I know from visiting here how much love you have for your dad. Sending {hugs} your way.

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  33. Lois, your Dad would be so proud. This was a beautiful post. I can not imagine the pain you are going through as my parents are both living, although eventually I will be in the same situation. Remember your Dad lives on in you and your sister. My prayers to your family!

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  34. Bless your heart. This is such a sad story. I am glad that you have pondered this and have ended with peace. God does have a plan for all of us, sometimes we just don't know what it is. I pray that you will feel His comfort and love.

    Blessings, Sharon

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  35. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure this was a hard post for you to write, but very touching and inspiring to read. In the midst of your sorrow and loss, your faith and the faith of your father is touching and inspiring to others. Thanks for sharing such a personal part of your life. You are blessed to have such a wonderful father.

    Hugs,
    Nancy

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